Well not quite. I’ll be leaving the country at the end of the month. I have to stop off to see some friends and family before I go.
I don’t think it’s hit me just yet though. And I don’t think it really will until I step out of the airport for the first time and realize what I’ve gotten myself into.
When I was working all those late nights I always imagined the day in which I would walk out of the office for the last time. I imagined a feeling of conquest, of pride, of excitement for the next chapter in my life.
But it didn’t feel unusual walking out of the office on Wednesday. I thought I’d feel more nervous as the day approached. I thought I’d second guess this decision. But I feel calm because I feel this is the right decision for me right now.
I understand that this trip is going to be tough. I’m going to get lonely. I will face challenges. Things will probably go disastrously bad at times. I will sacrifice the ability to spend time with my friends and family. I won’t be there for birthdays, weddings, and other major milestones. Nothing comes free in this life. To gain the type of freedom I want I have to sacrifice something.
But I understand what I’m getting in return and I plan to make the most of it. I’m 28 years old, I have no debt and I’m single. Nothing is tying me down to New York City or any other place for that matter. So if not now, then when?
I used to dream about making a decision like this. I met several people on my previous trips that have done just what I am about to do. But I didn’t think I dared to make this decision. Over time I realized that I was holding myself back. I had to overcome and change old thought patterns so I could create a better life for myself.